IMPREZANCE

Photo by Glenn newland

Void is defined as (adjective) “completely empty” or (noun) “a completely empty space”.  It was the literal noun definition that inspired this rant. Recently an on-line retailer sent me some bar stools, via UPS, and the packaging included the intriguingly labeled empty boxes pictured in the photo, accompanying this diatribe.  Upon opening the larger box and seeing the smaller one at the top, I thought, wow finally!  This is more important than the chair and weighs a lot less too!  Before I get too carried away though maybe we should be sure we keep things in perspective.  

Now we can address this literally and, for example, address the global issues of hunger.  The WFP-World Food Programme reports that 821 million people – one in nine – still go to bed on an empty stomach each night. 

Okay, for the sake of my walk through this thorny park let’s assume “the void” I am addressing is more emotional than physical.  Although Woody Allen did provide a great quote in Annie Hall when his character Alvy Singer reacts.  He is confronted by Annie Hall for being incapable of enjoying life and he responds, “I can’t enjoy anything unless everybody is.  If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.”

Technology to the rescue? With 56.1% of the world population having internet access as of April 2019, (Wikipedia), we gotta believe that the lack of social media has to be a vacuum for those poor souls not connected.  Wait, this just in (2017) according to the American Journal of Preventive Medicine“ People who spent the most time on social media had twice the odds of having greater perceived social isolation.”  Okay maybe I am exaggerating this loneliness issue, that being said a CBS-Cigna report finds many Americans are lonely, and younger adults appear to be the hardest hit. The study, published by the global health service company Cigna, found that 46 percent of U.S. adults report sometimes or always feeling lonely and 47 percent report feeling left out. Loneliness is defined as a feeling of being alone or lacking social connectedness. As noted, people who spent more time on social media had twice the odds of having greater perceived social isolation.

Maybe you are among those content with their job.  According to a report by the Pew Research Center, As of last labor day The Conference Board’s a US survey on job satisfaction finds that 51 percent of U.S. employees feel overall satisfied with their job.  Of course, that leaves 49%, not so much, on career gratification and it is more nuanced than that, based on the definition of “satisfied” factoring in things like pay, commute, ability to grow and be promoted.

So maybe, keep the faith? According to a 2017 study by PRRI, in the US, more than six in ten (61%) spiritual but not religious Americans and seven in ten (70%) spiritual and religious Americans are very or completely satisfied with their lives overall. Only 53% of those who are not spiritual but religious and fewer than half (47%) of those who are neither spiritual nor religious say the same.  Could be something there, I should note the level of satisfaction is also impacted by the beliefs of the particular religion. 

Social, Career, Creative, Familial, Love, Physical and Spiritual needs are unique to each of us, right?  So, there was something optimistic to opening that larger box and finding that smaller box inside, so positive, optimistic and transformative.  To engage in magical thinking, in that moment, thinking that such an esoteric or practical solution was that straightforward.  A simple physical object representing all that we yearn for. Fulfillment, literal or figurative, so simply delivered, with no shipping charges I might add.  

Sadly, we are seeing alarming statistics and, more likely than not, experiencing extreme stresses, either in our own lives or the lives of our loved ones.  According to the CDC, suicide rates increased in nearly every state from 1999 through 2016. “Mental health conditions are often seen as the cause of suicide, but suicide is rarely caused by any single factor. In fact, many people who die by suicide are not known to have a diagnosed mental health condition at the time of death. Other problems often contribute to suicide, such as those related to relationships, substance use, physical health, and job, money, legal, or housing stress.”  

In not putting too fine a point on it, we constantly evolve, adapting as individuals, as the world around us refuses to remain consistent or predictable.  Hopefully we have our family, colleagues and friends as our support groups. (That list being in no particular order of importance because that is not the same for all of us either.)  Maybe we gain incredible satisfaction from spending quiet time and holding hands with our partners.  Perhaps we seek acceptance by sharing artwork (music-visual-whatever) and ideas through the written word or sharing like religious / spiritual experiences. Whatever it is, it’s up to us. Taking on the weight of the world, like the Woody Allen character, is impractical but ignoring it is seemingly unconscionable.   Finding the balance is the everyday challenge.  

I am so lucky.  There are people who openly love and support me. (plus, I got my new box.)  I may not be fulfilled in every aspect of my life, but I perceive paths to take.  (Maybe total fulfillment isn’t even healthy.) For us old rockers the lyrics “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.” ring true. No matter, there is always room for improvement and enlightenment.  I probably can’t take your path and my path might seem absurd for you too.

If you are deeply sad or feeling disconnected reading this and in crisis, please reach out.  There are great resources available. This posting is not a callous attempt to make light of very serious issues.  I may crack wise, but that is my way of confronting my own fears and my introspective view of my shortcomings and challenges.  In this difficult and occasionally isolating new world one thing is sure, we are definitely going to need more boxes!